Hi people! I owe you an explanation for last day's poll in which I asked you why were you following my work.
I guess you've already noticed because I'm pretty transparent, even in the internet. The thing is, I'm a person full of fears
. You know, like the Hulk was always angry? I'm always scared, that's my secret. That's what makes me go through and fuels me to beat those demons. Because I really, really like what I do and sharing it with you. You've made me company and encouraged me through all these years in DA and I cannot stress enough how big
my gratitude to you is. So let's get to the point.
You'll surely remember my first Reylo piece The Balance of the Force - Reylo.
Hormones, a combination of daily details, perhaps only my own mind and fangirlism, but I got loaded with some sort of wild energy that was struggling to come out in the most unleashed way. This is not common in me, I tell you. So I knew I HAD to do something, channel that energy in a piece of work before it went away and was too late.
I poured all of me in that picture to the point of burrrrrrning my energies (like I usually do), knowing that this was a one-time-thing, and if I waited a single day more to finish it, this special energy would fade and it would not be the same. One never knows when it will come back. Somehow, this process succeeded and the piece became one of my favorites ever. It was a hit in Tumblr.
I know it's not THAT big of a hit compared to others, but to me... I had never gotten that much attention or praise for a single piece in that short period of time IN MY LIFE
. I was stunned and so, so proud. Hooked to the screen, happy to see that somehow I had managed to send my feelings through the internet and reached other people's hearts. I couldn't believe what was happening.
An then, when things settled a bit, my mind did what it always does. "What if...?"
It's always full of "What ifs", which is really good for this work, drawing, creating, writing stories. But these are two faces of the same coin, and this "What if" wasn't the pleasant kind. To spare you more paragraphs, this was the question haunting my mind:"What if the only thing they like about me is the fanart? What if any other thing I draw is pointless to them? What if I stop making fanart for some time and they start leaving in loads? There are millions out there painting fanart as well, so it's not like I'm special because of this. Should I start making Reylo fanart like there's no tomorrow just to keep them interested in my work? And what would be the point in this? I wouldn't be honest this way! But I don't want them to feel cheated if they started following me for the Reylo and then I don't make art about it anymore. So what do I do?"
As you can see, this had me worried. That's when I decided to create a poll to hear your thoughts, and I was positive that you'd be honest to me.
To my surprise, the votes were very split. I was shocked to see that a great part of you chose the Technique, concepts... even the variety! (A lot of people had told me before that variety would make it harder to sell my art or create a good portfolio) Sure, a lot of you picked the fanart and I'm very happy about it too. But knowing that there are many other things that I make and that you like as well enough to stay... that was my joy yesterday.
I'm no longer worried, but incredibly happy. I can still make fanart, of course, but it's because I feel like it and not out of fear. God knows I've had too much of that in my life before. I just want to create beautiful things to share with you, no matter if they're original or fanbased.
Thank you so, so much for your support and your replies. You're the best and I wish you the best too.
Also I've got another Reylo piece prepared already HUEHUEHUEHUE...